Trying to deal with it.

I went back for an ultrasound today, I know for some it seems like a crazy idea, but I felt like yesterday I was in a state of shock and didnt ask any question and spend all night thinking the what if...
It was as horrible and hard as you could imagine, I went to a different place and just got my question answered, the lady was really nice and even moved me to a different ultrasound machine just to calm my fears. She wasnt as fast and mechanic like the last one and she was doctor and knew I was one too (here in DR is not your OBGYN who do the ultrasound) so she explained me why they were sure it is a miscarriage even if I dont have any bleeding or cramps yet.
I've been a mess all day, I know that this happens sometimes but still is really hard!
Thanks for all the support you've given me it really means a lot to us this days, Bayo cant come home until thursday so you can imagine how much harder that makes this whole thing.
I will be going friday for a D&C so please keep us in your prayers.

Sad

The ultrasound showed no heartbeat, the doctor told me the baby stopped growing.
I am really sad and confused, I dont get it, the baby measures the time I have (8 weeks) so there SHOULD be a heartbeat, but there isnt, I am not sure what to think, if it is a dimised it happened a couple days ago?!
We are really sad...

Hopefully my last day of bedrest :)

It's already monday here so in exactly 10 hours I will get my ultrasound, unfortunately I dont get to go to Los Cacaos tomorrow, because Bayo will pick me up on thursday :(
Fonsy will be joining me for the ultrasound tomorrow so that I dont go nuts on the waiting room, lol!!
Again please pray for tomorrow, we are really nervous :/

Journey of a bedrest: day 19

Only 2 days to go...
Can you belive that I could get out of here in 2 days :)
But I have to wait for Bayo to pick me up and go to my drs appoinment before I leave to Los Cacaos, he's been talking about coming tuesday instead of thursday, if that is the case my appoinment is open and I can change it and be out of here sooner :)
Please pray for a healthy heartbeat on that ultrasound and for Bayo to be able to make it here before.

FFF- Christmas Traditions

This is not my christmas tradition, but since I am stuck at my mom's house I will post one that she started last year, more of a tradition it is a collection!

She collects Santas!!!
They are all over the house, I feel like they are gremlins that if you poor water over them they'll reproduce more...

They come in all size and shapes.

Some are gold...

Some are red...

Some are seating in our chairs!!

In our floor...

Riding reindeer bikes?!

The big old jolly red suit guy!

Some carry ornaments...

Some are hip...

Some are checking on the list!


Some speak spanish...

Some can cook...

Some may go for a tropical look!

So if you dont get any presents this christmas eve, it may be my mom who kidnap him :)

Hope you liked the HUGE Santa Claus collection!

If you want to see my nativity scene collection (I buy one for each year that we've been married) click here and we also do a holiday salad tradition, check it out here!

Journey of a bedrest: day 17

Only 4 days to go...
Friends are blessings!!
Today Fonsy kept me company, after Bayo left (he came home for our anniversary) and we had such a nice time just talking and talking :) She also gave me some sweet things for baby bear, materny clothes and brought me Eclipse (the book) to keep me bussy until I leave!
My bedrest is supposed to end monday but I will have to stay until thursday because my appoinment with the doctor is that day!
And guess who came with her??? Gabby the walker :) he took his first steps yesterday and came over to show off, with walking onesis and all!!

3 years later... Still in love!

3 years ago was really one of the happiest days of my life, I honestly could relive this day over and over!

I still belive you are God's gift to me... I love you Bayohan!